Chapter 2: Going public

Sharing our story and this blog online has been very emotional. We knew it would be difficult to make hopes and dreams known to the world, because of the personal information involved.

We have felt so loved by everyone. Even strangers. It’s amazing how much support we have in this decision to hope to adopt. We have people approach us we don’t know and share their personal adoption stories. It’s touching to have so much love shown to us. Adoption truly is a community, and like my friend Lindsey said, we are now apart of it. Thank you Lindsey for welcoming us into this community.

We realize that you may be curious about the word “infertile” and what it specifically means in our situation. Our response is this:

  1. It’s personal.
  2. It doesn’t matter.
  3. We are equal. We share our burdens. There is no finger pointing.

Please respect our privacy on this matter.

We also would like to share some insights on sharing children who are hoping to be adopted.

It’s exciting – for you.

For us it’s something completely different. We can’t explain it. Fear? Shock? Love? Whatever that crazy emotion is that we feel when we are approached about a child in need – the fact is that it’s a lot to take in. It is powerful.

Birth mothers have all said the same thing when asked about their adoption stories – that they just knew when the couple was “right.” This, in our opinion, is the Holy Spirit helping in these tough decisions. Couples who have adopted also share similar stories, that they just knew, it felt right, as if everyone involved was already somehow connected. It is such a spiritual experience.

When being approached with children who are hoping to be adopted, we are letting the Spirit guide us. It may take days for us to respond to the news. Please know that we are not ignoring you. Please know that on the other end of the phone, Facebook, blog post, etc. there is a couple who has a lot of decisions to make, and they aren’t easy decisions.

Our biggest fear is coming across as ungrateful or complete jerks because we choose not to pursue a specific child. Trust us – fear sets in when we are contacted. This is what our brains start thinking the second it happens:

“Holy crap. Holy crap. Crap. Can I do this? Can we do this? Is this the only time we will be approached? Is this our only shot at being parents? What if no one else wants us? What if this never happens?”

That’s just a snippet of the first reaction, which happens in less than a second. However, we aren’t ungrateful. We are so immensely thankful to be approached. The last thing we want anyone to feel when approaching us is that we are insensitive to other children’s needs.

The truth is this:

  • This is our forever family. We have every right to choose what is best for our future.
  • This won’t be the last time we are contacted.
  • We will be parents.
  • Our decision may not make sense to you.

As Neal A. Maxwell said,

Faith in God includes faith in His timing.

Our hope is that you all will feel that we are not making this decision alone. That we aren’t being picky. We are relying on the Spirit.

Thank you again for joining us on this journey. Thank you for sharing your stories. Thank you for sharing children with us that could potentially result in an adoption. We cannot wait to know, feel, and share when the we have found our match.